starting at the beginning

i am trying to change my perspective on life. we all begin at the beginning and slowly make progress through our trials and errors. just the other day though, i realized that i am a typical mother and woman. i worry that i am not doing it all right and i strive to please those around me. this seems to be the standard attitude and outlook of many women. there is always more to get done, one more thing to get finished, or learn, or try to get better at. as a mom, it seems as if we feel we never play enough, make good enough meals, or are as good as the next mama. the one who is nicely done up (as are her children,) has made it to play group on time and with a homemade snack, and who always has something fun and exciting to share or talk about.

i will never be that mother. it is just a fact of life. i am late, i can't seem to fit enough (if any) vegetables into my son's diet, and i'm doing good to find a clean, unstained and unwrinkled, t-shirt that has one thing or another blazoned across the front in advertisement of this fundraiser or that concert, and pair of jeans without holes to put on. dressed-up means the nicer "trouser style" jeans with a solid color Gap "perfect-fit t-shirt" or a button down.

since we have moved to northern idaho and left our large city in the south, i am learning to accept who i am and appreciate a slower pace of life. the other moms don't care how i'm dressed (ok, well at least most of them...) and many of them struggle with the same things that i do. i've decided that i am just going to enjoy playtime a little more instead of trying to get one more load of laundry done or email sent out. those things will still be there at nap time.

i have also chosen some new projects to embark on while we are living here. the success yet to be determined, but a lofty goal none the less. with the abundance of farmers, artsy people, and those willing to teach, i have decided to learn how to sew and knit (or relearn) and how to can, freeze, dry, and more to preserve the harvest. this effort is both a combination of growing as a person who loves to learn, adding a new skill, and my family's effort to leave a little less impact on the planet. we will see how my trials and tribulations with these projects (challenges) go over the next few months. some of these things i will be teaching my self, some with the help of new found friends, and some through classes that are offered around here.

keep your fingers crossed and your thoughts hopeful as i discover a little more about myself as a person, myself as a mom, and try to add a couple of new skills to the mix.